BlueCreek

I'm with hrb as far as bring up the sex goes. Trust me, I know from vast experience, having it once every couple of weeks...really ain't that bad and can get MUCH worse if you start making a big deal about it and pressuring her. Focus on all the other stuff first and then see if that improves your marriage and brings the sex life back closer in line with what you need before you start arguing about that. Truly, stress and pressure are major turn offs for most women and will drastically affect that side of your marriage. You can relieve the pressure just by not putting any on her, and talk openly with her about how you can reduce more of her stress (though obviously don't make the offer in any sort of context that you are doing so just to improve your love life.)

Money is kind of a standard issue to argue about and is rarely the real issue behind problems and usually more like an easy scapegoat. Besides, you both work, so it's not like one of you feels s/he is doing everything to bring all the money while the other is taking it easy.

The two biggest things that stand out to me are the fact that you do about half the chores but she doesn't give you the credit for it, and that she likes reminisce fondly over past times and relationships with her friend.

For the first, have you two really talked about that and gotten a good sense of why she thinks she does more than you? It's important that you both really appreciate with the other does for you, so you need to understand what she expects that she is not getting, and why. You can only do that by talking openly about it in a non defensive way.

Reminiscing about High School is usually nothing, so you need to really think about what she and her friends are actually talking about. If it's just chatting once every now and then about something that happened to them in HS, seriously, it's just old friends talking and probably means nothing at all, even if an ex's name pops up every now and then. If she and her friend always had a boyfriend, then it would stand to reason that many of things they did together in HS would include those boyfriends. That said, if your wife has long conversations with her friend on a weekly basis talking specifically about past boyfriends and things they all did together, well, let's just say I can really see why that one irks you. It sure would me. Of all the things you wrote that you argue about, this seems like the most purely emotional one, and the more emotional the issue is, the harder it can be for each of you to understand the other's viewpoint. I remember a few months after I proposed to my wife I noticed this little homemade painting hanging in one of her rooms was signed by a previous boyfriend. I was pretty ticked off by that. The very first thing I did when I was sure I was going to propose to my wife was go through everything I own and tossed everything out that was from or even really reminded me of a previous girlfriend. Seemed totally normally to me and I was shocked she hadn't done the same. So I asked and she ended up doing the same for me, but she didn't quite get it and wasn't exactly thrilled. It's just the way I am, I have no interest in even thinking about past relationships, let alone talking about them, and I need my wife to respect that and she does.

So, if you are at all like me, at the bare minimum you need to make sure she knows you don't like hearing about them at all and make sure those conversations happen when you aren't around. You can't very well demand she not talk about HS with her best friend from those times, but you do need to have a serious heart to heart. Never assume that she understands how you feel (and vice versa.) It may very well be nothing at all, but it should be important to her that you be comfortable and not threatened by things like this. She can tell you not to worry about it, but she should still be more than happy to assure you she will try and keep talks with her friend steered away from topics that focus on past boyfriends, and aways do so when you are around.