Healing

Not really... he will just apologise mid way and say he doesn't think its gonna happen. He's always been rather shy about talking about sex and in this case, where he feels bad, its worse.

Obviously its something which is a sensitive topic for him, and he prob feels awful about it, which makes me afraid that over-analysing it and me asking too many questions/discussing it too much will just make matters worse by stressing him more, or even hurt his feelings and ego.

I read somewhere about trying to take the focus off intercourse/attaining an erection and just focusing on non-genital touching for a start. Supposedly, men seem to assume that an erection is a prerequisite for all sexual activity, which is not true. He is like that I think, he seems to feel like if he doesn't already have an erection he shouldn't start/do anything.

For me my confidence is kinda rattled by all this. I've gone through phases of wondering if something was wrong with how I looked or what I did etc, even now I'm not sure if I am doing the right things to help him. But I plan to try out what I read.

I guess to sum up the biggest worry for me is that while logically it would make sense to TALK about it, talking about it too much might make it even more clinical and stressful, making things worse.