Talk About Marriage - View Single Post - husband-to-be prefers his mom

gjko · 06-19-2008, 07:02 PM

I need perspective.

My fiance and I are getting married in several weeks. He's an only child, 40 years old, and this is his first marriage or serious relationship.

Here's the dilemma: He loves his mom very much and spends alot of money on her: 2 beautiful homes, a car, credit card, vacations, etc etc. It is quite different for me. Not that I need for anything, but as we discussed what I should get for a new car (my old lease is ending soon), he thinks getting me the same car as his mom means I am "spoiled", and is suggesting much, much less nice cars. His suggestions apply if I get the car myself, or if he helps me with payments.

I don't really understand his perspective; is he being unreasonable? Am I being unreasonable? I normally expect wives to come before mothers, but is it okay for the wife to play "second" to her mother in law in this way? I'm so confused, and I don't know what to make of the situation.

06-19-2008, 07:02 PM	#1 (permalink)
gjko Registered User Join Date: Jun 2008 Posts: 2	husband-to-be prefers his mom I need perspective. My fiance and I are getting married in several weeks. He's an only child, 40 years old, and this is his first marriage or serious relationship. Here's the dilemma: He loves his mom very much and spends alot of money on her: 2 beautiful homes, a car, credit card, vacations, etc etc. It is quite different for me. Not that I need for anything, but as we discussed what I should get for a new car (my old lease is ending soon), he thinks getting me the same car as his mom means I am "spoiled", and is suggesting much, much less nice cars. His suggestions apply if I get the car myself, or if he helps me with payments. I don't really understand his perspective; is he being unreasonable? Am I being unreasonable? I normally expect wives to come before mothers, but is it okay for the wife to play "second" to her mother in law in this way? I'm so confused, and I don't know what to make of the situation.