Talk About Marriage - View Single Post - Thinking about ex, being short with my wife..

needadviceplease1 · 11-09-2009, 12:38 PM

Married for three months now. I left my ex fiance for my current wife about three years ago. Everything went great between us and everything for her still is great. I have just started to have my doubts and she can sense it and it is hurting us.

We have a lot in common and we laugh together and can coexist easily. The problem is right before the wedding I began to get really bad cold feet and she knew about it and we had long talks and decided to still get married. Since the honeymoon I can't help but constantly focus on her negative flaws (she is overly nice and tries to do every single thing she can that she thinks will make me happy, she doesn't have a lot of self esteem, and lately even her squeaky voice is starting to get to me). On top of all of that, I can't seem to constantly worry that I made a mistake by leaving my ex fiance. Most of my family and friends didn't agree with how I handled things and I think would have preferred me to stay with my ex and that gets under my skin a little.

My ex has since married as well and moved out of state. My mom mentioned that maybe I should call her and wish her luck and all of that but I decided I should not out of respect for both of our marriages. Her being married really doesn't make me jealous because I guess I am happy for her because I never thought I gave her enough love anyway. I still regret it though in a way.

I fell in love with my wife when I met her and I had never felt I was in love with my ex (same old story right?) I have researched and looked on here and a lot of people say the first year of marriage can be difficult because of the way you have to get used to each other and accept the little things that. My wife makes me happy and would be a good lifelong partner. She is sweet and respectful and would never cheat on me and I would never cheat on her.

One of the problems I had in my last relationship is that I was not happy so I was very unfaithful. I decided to spare a future with kids having to deal with divorce so I broke it off. I now would never cheat on my wife and I view this as a very positive thing. I also have become a much more honest person. So there are positives about us, I just want to stop being slightly rude to her and I also want my ex to get out of my head.

Any suggestions?

11-09-2009, 12:38 PM	#1 (permalink)
needadviceplease1 Registered User Join Date: Sep 2009 Posts: 16	Thinking about ex, being short with my wife.. Married for three months now. I left my ex fiance for my current wife about three years ago. Everything went great between us and everything for her still is great. I have just started to have my doubts and she can sense it and it is hurting us. We have a lot in common and we laugh together and can coexist easily. The problem is right before the wedding I began to get really bad cold feet and she knew about it and we had long talks and decided to still get married. Since the honeymoon I can't help but constantly focus on her negative flaws (she is overly nice and tries to do every single thing she can that she thinks will make me happy, she doesn't have a lot of self esteem, and lately even her squeaky voice is starting to get to me). On top of all of that, I can't seem to constantly worry that I made a mistake by leaving my ex fiance. Most of my family and friends didn't agree with how I handled things and I think would have preferred me to stay with my ex and that gets under my skin a little. My ex has since married as well and moved out of state. My mom mentioned that maybe I should call her and wish her luck and all of that but I decided I should not out of respect for both of our marriages. Her being married really doesn't make me jealous because I guess I am happy for her because I never thought I gave her enough love anyway. I still regret it though in a way. I fell in love with my wife when I met her and I had never felt I was in love with my ex (same old story right?) I have researched and looked on here and a lot of people say the first year of marriage can be difficult because of the way you have to get used to each other and accept the little things that. My wife makes me happy and would be a good lifelong partner. She is sweet and respectful and would never cheat on me and I would never cheat on her. One of the problems I had in my last relationship is that I was not happy so I was very unfaithful. I decided to spare a future with kids having to deal with divorce so I broke it off. I now would never cheat on my wife and I view this as a very positive thing. I also have become a much more honest person. So there are positives about us, I just want to stop being slightly rude to her and I also want my ex to get out of my head. Any suggestions?