Talk About Marriage - View Single Post - Thinking about ex, being short with my wife..

dobo · 11-09-2009, 12:50 PM

You've already given us enough reason for you to forget about your ex-. Guilt is one thing, but this idea that you want to forget how bad things really were with her is another. You cheated on her -- with your current wife? If so, that could be part of the problem.

Yes, the first year of marriage can be difficult. But then yours is more difficult because you married against your better judgement. You weren't totaly commited to the idea of getting married so you will always have that excuse to fall back on. You need to get THAT out of your head if you want your marriage to survive. You decided to marry her. You did it. You stood there and took those vows so any previous concerns are moot. I suspect that if you get that out of your head you'll be farther along than you think.

You can also encourage your wife to work on her self-esteem -- to get a hobby or go back to school or find something she's passionate about so that you don't feel crowded. And, take time for yourself so that you don't allow yourself to BE crowded. Everyone needs space now and then.

11-09-2009, 12:50 PM	#2 (permalink)
dobo Banned Join Date: Jun 2009 Posts: 1,423	Re: Thinking about ex, being short with my wife.. You've already given us enough reason for you to forget about your ex-. Guilt is one thing, but this idea that you want to forget how bad things really were with her is another. You cheated on her -- with your current wife? If so, that could be part of the problem. Yes, the first year of marriage can be difficult. But then yours is more difficult because you married against your better judgement. You weren't totaly commited to the idea of getting married so you will always have that excuse to fall back on. You need to get THAT out of your head if you want your marriage to survive. You decided to marry her. You did it. You stood there and took those vows so any previous concerns are moot. I suspect that if you get that out of your head you'll be farther along than you think. You can also encourage your wife to work on her self-esteem -- to get a hobby or go back to school or find something she's passionate about so that you don't feel crowded. And, take time for yourself so that you don't allow yourself to BE crowded. Everyone needs space now and then.