Talk About Marriage - View Single Post - Thinking about ex, being short with my wife..

dobo · 11-09-2009, 02:15 PM

You go to therapy to figure out why you cheated instead of just breaking up with your ex-. You need to work on that issue (passive-aggressiveness) because it will show up in your current marriage and will definitely sabatoge it.

And, you ask your wife to go on her own to figure out why she would be with someone who was already taken and to deal with her self-esteem issues. While she didn't cheat on you, she stole. She took something that wasn't hers. She knew what she was doing and was selfish about it. (Her low self-esteem at work -- she needed your attention more than she cared about any morality issues.)

Then, the two of you need to come together to work on issues like trust and respect because surely after getting together the way you did, respect has to suffer.

IMO, you're both in a place where either could cheat to fulfill some other need. You just don't see it now because things are relatively good. But if you don't deal with your issues, you will surely have a rough marriage.

11-09-2009, 02:15 PM	#4 (permalink)
dobo Banned Join Date: Jun 2009 Posts: 1,423	Re: Thinking about ex, being short with my wife.. You go to therapy to figure out why you cheated instead of just breaking up with your ex-. You need to work on that issue (passive-aggressiveness) because it will show up in your current marriage and will definitely sabatoge it. And, you ask your wife to go on her own to figure out why she would be with someone who was already taken and to deal with her self-esteem issues. While she didn't cheat on you, she stole. She took something that wasn't hers. She knew what she was doing and was selfish about it. (Her low self-esteem at work -- she needed your attention more than she cared about any morality issues.) Then, the two of you need to come together to work on issues like trust and respect because surely after getting together the way you did, respect has to suffer. IMO, you're both in a place where either could cheat to fulfill some other need. You just don't see it now because things are relatively good. But if you don't deal with your issues, you will surely have a rough marriage.