Re: Question for those who survived an affair
Hello there, I've been in similar situation. The advice I have followed myself is to be honest and ask the questions I have needed to ask. I haven't always asked questions that won't help me eg I know nothing about the woman my husband had an affair with although he did say at one stage I could ask him anything and he would reply honestly. I thought that if I knew she was 10 years younger or blonde might satisfy my curiosity but wouldn't help me feel any better. However I also feel I have a right to ask questions for reassurance so when my husband disappeared into study onto computer and appeared to be changing screens when I entered the room I asked him directly if this was because he was communicating with her. There have been other similar conversations. I've tried to ask at the time, in a non confrontational way. The thing is you have made an agreement with your wife, but you have no control over whether the other man will do as he is asked and stay away, so if he is the one texting your wife it could be that he sent so many texts because your wife was ignoring him. Give her the chance to tell you this too if it is the case. You have a right to honest communication and your wife should understand that you will need reassurance if you are going to get through this. Lucy
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