Talk About Marriage - View Single Post - Thinking about ex, being short with my wife..

swedish · 11-10-2009, 09:06 AM

My take on your situation is that you have matured and become a better man. It doesn't sound like it has much to do about your ex, but more about your guilt for treating her the way you did and somewhat resentful that your wife was part of that betrayal and doesn't carry the same guilt about it that you do. I think we all have things from our past that we wished we handled differently, but the guilt is there for a reason. It helps you maintain the mature man you are today.

I believe you are already doing the best thing you can for your ex...to be happy that she has found someone and moved on. I don't agree (sorry mom) with contacting her as it would be more to make yourself feel better and could make her feel better (closure) or could make her feel worse.

I think the boundary books are a great idea for you both...sounds like you just need a little space...it's hard to suddenly 'share' your life, time, etc. with someone else when one wants to be together all the time and the other needs some 'alone' time.

11-10-2009, 09:06 AM	#12 (permalink)
swedish Moderator Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Near Chicago Posts: 2,521	Re: Thinking about ex, being short with my wife.. My take on your situation is that you have matured and become a better man. It doesn't sound like it has much to do about your ex, but more about your guilt for treating her the way you did and somewhat resentful that your wife was part of that betrayal and doesn't carry the same guilt about it that you do. I think we all have things from our past that we wished we handled differently, but the guilt is there for a reason. It helps you maintain the mature man you are today. I believe you are already doing the best thing you can for your ex...to be happy that she has found someone and moved on. I don't agree (sorry mom) with contacting her as it would be more to make yourself feel better and could make her feel better (closure) or could make her feel worse. I think the boundary books are a great idea for you both...sounds like you just need a little space...it's hard to suddenly 'share' your life, time, etc. with someone else when one wants to be together all the time and the other needs some 'alone' time.