Talk About Marriage - View Single Post

dobo · 11-12-2009, 01:21 PM

There is a study that eye rolling is a prime indicator of eventual divorce.

When she was dating you, she wanted to catch you. Now that she's caught you, she sees how your inability to be friendly with people reflects on her. You embarrass her. By being married to you, it reflects negatively on her taste.

Also, one of the things to look for when dating is how the SO treats other people. If it isn't good, the general wisdom is to dump them and look for someone who is nicer.

She's seen that you don't think this is important because the changes never stick. You're not going to change so she is finding other people to hang out with who MAKE HER FEEL GOOD ABOUT HERSELF. You do not.

And of course you don't get sex if she doesn't even like your personality.

Do you really want to remain married? If so, get into therapy and work on that personality. If not, stick with the confusion about her having married you with this personality but being unhappy now. It doesn't help you of course. She is where she is NOW. What she was before is a distant memory.

I'm curious what you think you are doing to save the marriage since your forays into personality modification have been short-lived.

I'll give you a hint : it doesn't involve sex. Sex is a good measure of a relationship's health. But it doesn't make the relationship.

11-12-2009, 01:21 PM	#5 (permalink)
dobo Banned Join Date: Jun 2009 Posts: 1,423	Re: Where has the Desire gone?????!!!!!!!! There is a study that eye rolling is a prime indicator of eventual divorce. When she was dating you, she wanted to catch you. Now that she's caught you, she sees how your inability to be friendly with people reflects on her. You embarrass her. By being married to you, it reflects negatively on her taste. Also, one of the things to look for when dating is how the SO treats other people. If it isn't good, the general wisdom is to dump them and look for someone who is nicer. She's seen that you don't think this is important because the changes never stick. You're not going to change so she is finding other people to hang out with who MAKE HER FEEL GOOD ABOUT HERSELF. You do not. And of course you don't get sex if she doesn't even like your personality. Do you really want to remain married? If so, get into therapy and work on that personality. If not, stick with the confusion about her having married you with this personality but being unhappy now. It doesn't help you of course. She is where she is NOW. What she was before is a distant memory. I'm curious what you think you are doing to save the marriage since your forays into personality modification have been short-lived. I'll give you a hint : it doesn't involve sex. Sex is a good measure of a relationship's health. But it doesn't make the relationship.