I completely understand this!! I could have written this myself a few years ago.It's kind of a lonely place isn't it?I always thought so
Your husband has to be more flexible if he wants to be the one providing your orgasm.From what you said it seems like he's being a little too rigid(pardon the pun) when it comes to the sexual routine. Why does oral have to be 69?Why can't he just pleasure you and enjoy it pleasuring you?
I think i'd feel hurt and self conscious if i had a partner who didn't like pleasuring me
*hugs* I feel for you.
Does he say why he doesn't like it? Can you get off from having him use his hands on you if he isn't into oral?