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Old 11-13-2009, 03:49 PM   #4 (permalink)
MarkTwain
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Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Yorkshire, UK
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Default Re: My god, help.....

Quote:
Originally Posted by dobo View Post
Granny needs to move into a home.
And... you need to be firm with her. Stop letting her make all the decisions. So what if she throws a tantrum for the first few weeks until she gets used to the new you.

You see, she is living in a private hell. She desperately wants someone to show her boundaries. But by walking on eggshells and constantly accommodating her, you do the opposite. If you stood up to her and said NO a little more often, although she would shout at you, she would actually feel relieved.

If you TELL her, "granny has to go", she will feel unburdened of the guilt - it will be your fault not hers. That's what she wants.
Quote:
I apologized for saying something so stupid, that I would NEVER leave her no matter what etc.
Bad move. Never tell someone this. It's bad negotiation tactics. If she know that your bottom line is total oblivion (yours that is), she will take you there. Better to let her know there is a line in the sand.
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