Talk About Marriage - View Single Post

strongandtrue · 11-13-2009, 06:12 PM

So I arrived home after work yesterday and my wife was hosting a get together with her social group (Bunco night) - all are all older than she is. I usually come home and head for the bedroom but for some reason tonight I decided to make an appearance and strike up some conversation with whomever would converse with me. My wife was being nice and joking with me and seemed to enjoy the attention I was receiving from these ladies. I enjoyed seeing her smile and laugh as it's been at least a week since that's happened. I decided that I didn't want to wear out my welcome so I retreated to my room till they left.

After these ladies left she went to her usual spot on the couch and proceeded to read her book. I knew at this point that was all the interaction I was going to receive as she didn't speak to me at all. I went to the bedroom and fell asleep from exhaustion.

I woke up at 2 a.m. with a huge anxiety/panic attack, I almost felt like I was going to get violently sick. I went through this for hours till the sun was almost up, I just laid in bed (alone) and read some of the more inspirational posts.

There isn't much to say at this point, on the outside I've been strong and I've held my composure but on the inside it seems this stress is simply killing me. I want to just grab her and tell her how much I love her but I fear the possibility of rejection. I just cannot understand how someone can simply shut down all emotions at the drop of a hat.

Anyway, this made for a long day. I woke up this morning and she seems closer but still so far away. I guess I'll continue to give her space and hope that she'll open up to me at some point. I'm not angry at her at all, I just want to show her love. When I left this morning for work she walked me out, I gave her a hug and a kiss and told her that I love her (oops, that slipped), she expressed the same to me which was shocking.

I pray that I can sleep tonight as my appetite and sleep have been greatly deprived. I'm really feeling tore up but I simply cannot control my inner emotions.

I would sure enjoy some inspiration as I'm terrified inside that my next post may be - well, you know.

11-13-2009, 06:12 PM	#10 (permalink)
strongandtrue Registered User Join Date: Nov 2009 Posts: 7	Re: Heartbroken x2 So I arrived home after work yesterday and my wife was hosting a get together with her social group (Bunco night) - all are all older than she is. I usually come home and head for the bedroom but for some reason tonight I decided to make an appearance and strike up some conversation with whomever would converse with me. My wife was being nice and joking with me and seemed to enjoy the attention I was receiving from these ladies. I enjoyed seeing her smile and laugh as it's been at least a week since that's happened. I decided that I didn't want to wear out my welcome so I retreated to my room till they left. After these ladies left she went to her usual spot on the couch and proceeded to read her book. I knew at this point that was all the interaction I was going to receive as she didn't speak to me at all. I went to the bedroom and fell asleep from exhaustion. I woke up at 2 a.m. with a huge anxiety/panic attack, I almost felt like I was going to get violently sick. I went through this for hours till the sun was almost up, I just laid in bed (alone) and read some of the more inspirational posts. There isn't much to say at this point, on the outside I've been strong and I've held my composure but on the inside it seems this stress is simply killing me. I want to just grab her and tell her how much I love her but I fear the possibility of rejection. I just cannot understand how someone can simply shut down all emotions at the drop of a hat. Anyway, this made for a long day. I woke up this morning and she seems closer but still so far away. I guess I'll continue to give her space and hope that she'll open up to me at some point. I'm not angry at her at all, I just want to show her love. When I left this morning for work she walked me out, I gave her a hug and a kiss and told her that I love her (oops, that slipped), she expressed the same to me which was shocking. I pray that I can sleep tonight as my appetite and sleep have been greatly deprived. I'm really feeling tore up but I simply cannot control my inner emotions. I would sure enjoy some inspiration as I'm terrified inside that my next post may be - well, you know.