I have asked her how she would feel if it was the other way around in the past but asked her again (very nicely) yesterday. She didn't like it very much and said that everyone asks her that same question. She admitted that she would act the same way I have but at the same time she says that no one understands her and that she talks to him because he doesn't judge her like everyone else. Very much the type of response you would expect from someone with an addiction that they don't want to give up.
I think we are making progress but until she agrees to stop talking to him I don't feel we can move forward. In the meantime I am working on myself and trying make sure I do my part to meet all of her needs so that she won't have to go outside the marriage in the future
