I truly appreciate your post, here is what I learned today which is something we should be looking out for.
Things were actually going pretty well, we were being are usual selves this morning - talking and laughing etc... Then apparently her sister sent a text message to her phone. So she asked if I would bring her the phone and I did. She looked at the message right in front of me and just sort of held it there, it read "So are you going to get a DIV". I was absolutely speechless, I didn't say a word. She starts to read it aloud not even realizing (maybe she did) what DIV meant. Then it hits her and she makes the comment, "why would she ask me if I'm getting a divorce - see I told you she's been acting weird." She sends her a text message back asking her if she wants some clothes - a change of subject if you will.
So we proceed to talk more (ignoring what had just happened) and we got cleaned up to go out to lunch. Our son came home before we left and he and I talked about an incident that happened in school (I wasn't made aware of till today), I then began to engage his girlfriend and friend in conversation which I rarely do and that went really well.
We go to lunch, everything went great (great=no disagreements) and we came home. She changed her clothes and proceeded to go shopping again for more clothes for me. She even mentioned to me that she can't wait to wear her dress to my company Christmas party this year. I waited for her to leave then I decided it was time to see what she had been up to this week on the internet (I really hate to have to do this kind of thing)... I intentionally steered clear of the computer all week on purpose to reduce any suspicion on my part.
So I checked Face book - nothing there, just the usual rhetoric. I moved to emails and there was nothing there - all her deleted items were still intact. It got interesting when I looked at web browser activity for the past 7 days. I noticed that this week was a pretty normal week for her, job hunting, browsing etc.. Nothing until you look at the history of the 13th where she was searching for apartments in the area (sigh).
I feel like I'm totally being used at this point. She's obviously notified her sister/family of her possible intent and was actively looking for somewhere to live yesterday. She doesn't have a job and I'm the sole provider and she also knows I have a kind heart, love her to death and will do almost anything within reason for her. Her kindness this week is nothing more than self preservation, I'm fairly confident once she secures that she'll dump me and move on.
She's on her way home so I'll continue later with my thoughts.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Commited1
Reading this entire thread, I feel for you and hope things are ok today. I am in a 'similar' situation with my wife, who simply will not talk or interact with me (been this way the past 2 weeks). My situation, like yours, was overnight. She didn't say she was going to leave but she went from emotionally attached and affectionate to dead cold and unresponsive in the space of a single day.
Your wife seems to have some pretty intense swings back and forth. Personally, I wouldn't worry too much about her cheating on you. It really just doesn't sound like she is.
Honestly, it really sounds like she doesn't know what she wants. Something I ask myself sometimes is if it really matters what anyone wants. Set goal, do what it takes to achieve goal. Wants need to adapt to that rather than the other way around, in my opinion.
Maybe I am totally misreading everything, but like my situation, your wife seems to be crying out for some boundaries to be set for HER. Rational, fair, consistent boundaries.
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