Talk About Marriage - View Single Post

soiret · 11-16-2009, 03:18 PM

Hi, I'm glad I found this forum as I've been trying to get my head straight and would appreciate any advice. The last 6 months have been hell for me. I found out just after a family holiday that my wife had met a guy on a hen night - she was texting him while lying in bed next to me. She told me she didnt love me etc etc. When we got back off holiday I found out about this guy as I caught her on the phone to him. She left me and the kids that night and went to meet him the following day. After 24 hours I had a tearful call saying how sorry she was.
Anyway, a few months later, she's done exactly the same with a guy she met in Barcelona on a weekend away. And again I found out the night before she went but she still went through with it. There have been a huge amount of lies and I'm still discovering them. I have asked her to tell me the whole truth if she wants to save her marriage and she swears she is but then I find out more lies. She's created a whole fantasy world and to be honest I'm worried about her mental state.
We have two beautiful children who will be heartbroken if the marriage is over. I would still try and forgive her and try and save our marriage if I felt she really wanted to. She says she does, but that's all - there are no apologies, no reasons why she wants to save it, she just says she'll work at it. She refuses to tell the truth and just puts up a stuborn facade. What am I to do? It's driving me mad. I'm starting to think that all I can do is move out - is there anything else I can do until she's prepared to show any remorse for the hurt she's caused? She didn't even use a condom with these guys and she told us she was staying with her Mother's. I did not even know she was out of the country! She's a mother with two children, anything could have happend to her. Despite this, I really thought we'd be together for ever and would do anything to save it - but is it a lost cause? I've tried relate but what I really need now is some advice from others with similar experiences. Sorry for the long post. Thanks.

11-16-2009, 03:18 PM	#1 (permalink)
soiret Registered User Join Date: Nov 2009 Posts: 2	Advice needed on unfaithful wife Hi, I'm glad I found this forum as I've been trying to get my head straight and would appreciate any advice. The last 6 months have been hell for me. I found out just after a family holiday that my wife had met a guy on a hen night - she was texting him while lying in bed next to me. She told me she didnt love me etc etc. When we got back off holiday I found out about this guy as I caught her on the phone to him. She left me and the kids that night and went to meet him the following day. After 24 hours I had a tearful call saying how sorry she was. Anyway, a few months later, she's done exactly the same with a guy she met in Barcelona on a weekend away. And again I found out the night before she went but she still went through with it. There have been a huge amount of lies and I'm still discovering them. I have asked her to tell me the whole truth if she wants to save her marriage and she swears she is but then I find out more lies. She's created a whole fantasy world and to be honest I'm worried about her mental state. We have two beautiful children who will be heartbroken if the marriage is over. I would still try and forgive her and try and save our marriage if I felt she really wanted to. She says she does, but that's all - there are no apologies, no reasons why she wants to save it, she just says she'll work at it. She refuses to tell the truth and just puts up a stuborn facade. What am I to do? It's driving me mad. I'm starting to think that all I can do is move out - is there anything else I can do until she's prepared to show any remorse for the hurt she's caused? She didn't even use a condom with these guys and she told us she was staying with her Mother's. I did not even know she was out of the country! She's a mother with two children, anything could have happend to her. Despite this, I really thought we'd be together for ever and would do anything to save it - but is it a lost cause? I've tried relate but what I really need now is some advice from others with similar experiences. Sorry for the long post. Thanks.