Quote:
Originally Posted by MarkTwain
This is a welcome development. You probably need to get angry. When you really put your finger on it, you will probably find it is anger at yourself, for having let it happen. But the good news is, if part of it is your fault, then you can fix that part.
Even if it's too late for the current marriage, you will be a better person in the next.
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Everything you are saying is true. We have talked today, her and I. I will admit to having done her wrong through consistent neglect (not wanting to talk to or be around her, but being civil and affectuionate none the less) for many many days, maybe months.
I asked her if we are done, if she made the decision that we are done. She said that at the moment she feels like we are done. I told her it is not an at the moment type thing, either we are done or we are not. I further defined 'we are done' by saying that means done forever with no chance at reconciliation or commitment to each other.
The thing is I am not a two marriage person. I am a commited 1 marriage person. What I don't get is why she doesn't get the same idea: commit to the idea that we are together forever, sometimes it will suck, sometimes it will be good and it will be good more than it sucks if we are both commited. She won't commit to that, says she has tried and it just brings her pain.
Ya, I am really mad that I made the decision to start a family with her. WTF was I thinking. Now there are other people (our children!!!!!) involved.
I don't know what to do. I am not going to leave her and am not going to stop trying to make this work. She even said, we both promised over and over in the past that we stay together and keep trying no matter what, unless one of us cheated or become physically abusive to the other or one of the kids.
Loyalty and devotion??? wtf....how can a person possibly predict this kind of thing, especially when their mate promises over and over again those kinds of things.
Ya, I am real mad.