Originally Posted by squirsh2000

I guess she does fall into the cheating spouse syndrome with her recent behavior. However, to give a little back story, the one night stand she had 7 years ago was when she was in the midst of her alchoholism, and 4 days after that she acknowledged that she had a severe problem, hit rock bottom, and we got her into a rehab facility 300 miles away. She has been sober ever since. No mater what happens, I will always have a great sense of pride about what she is accomplishing thru sobriety. However, because of the one night stand, it completely eroded my self esteem, and I was constantly bringing up the situation, just to have her make me feel reassured. This went on for a good year or so, where there was much tension and confrontation. However, it did dwindle down, and we began to heal. Due to the situation, though, my wife closed herself off from a lot of the outside world. She would check in when she would go out, show receipts if she went shopping, all to reassure me and erase any doubt that I would have about where she would go. I guess I did give off a vibe that she owed me these things, and from what she tells me I would give off severe body language discouraging her from going out with her friends. So, she pulled away from them. Over the past few years, I guess I got comfortable with the way things were, and thought she was too. I will never condone what she did with her friend, whether it was physical or emotional. BUT, I do understand. If indeed she felt boxed in, and wasnt getting what she wanted emotionally from me, I can see someone coming along and making her feel important. I say this because when she was drinking, I didnt want to be near her, I was angry with her, and found myself getting close to a few women that I worked with. The difference was, I realized this for what it was, that these women were giving me "therapy," and I pulled away before I became emotionally attached or anything physical would happen. So, although she was wrong, and she should have come to me about any negative feelings or needs that were not being met, I do understand. Thoughts?