dobo

Just ask her non-specific things -- how was your day? And then let your questions arise from there.

My husband asks me what I'm thinking a lot. When I don't want to tell him, I tell him that I don't want to tell him. Not every thought is ready for prime time. Not every thought is even worthy of passing through my stupid mind a second time. So I don't like when he does that because it puts me on the spot. But, I also don't let it wreck my day. I tell him, "I don't want to tell you" or "it is fleeting and not valid" or, "not everything has to do with you." The latter is true. I can feel happy, sad, depressed, elated, neutral and have it be nothing to do with my relationship with my husband.

I think the most important thing is to convey the relevance to the other party. Whether they are willing to believe you is another matter and often has nothing to do with your truthfulness. (But believe me, truthfulness is important.)