sisters359

AIL is right--SHE BROKE THE TRUST. Nothing you needed for reassurance after that was inappropriate--she should have kissed the ground in thanks that you took her back at all; the burden was on HER to prove she deserved your trust. But it sounds like you didn't do marital counseling, which would have really helped since the marriage was so affected by her alcoholism.

As for the divorce, no court will allow you to walk away for so little-she would be in danger of becoming a burden on the state, so courts can't let accept agreements like the one you describe. Although it varies from state to state, most likely you will have to provide something for her to have as alimony/maintenance and child support for the amount of time she has the kids. Absent any current addiction/abuse, etc., the courts will also want to see the children having significant time with each parent--not necessarily 50/50, but something--because that is in the kids' best interest. Please keep that in mind, as much as you may come to dislike your wife or whatever--your dislike/distrust doesn't mean she's a bad mom or that the kids are unsafe with her.

So, sit down and hammer out something reasonable--again, it will save you time and $$ down the road, because if she gets a lawyer, you will likely have to pay more than she now sounds willing to accept. Be somewhat more generous, but you don't have to go 50/50 (although on the house and pension/retirement, you probably will).

Remember that while the courts want things to be somewhat fair, ultimately they are most interested in protecting the kids and the tax payers from anything that is UNfair. Let that be your guide, not your emotions. Good luck.