Did you say that your wife denied you sex for most of your marriage? Was that a chronic problem or the normal stuff? What I mean is it is normal for a young man to want sex daily and his wife to want less then that.
In some marriages though, after kids the wife avoids sex as much as possible and the man gives up and starts asking. Is that what happened to you after your second child?
Have you truly forgiven her for the affair that she stayed with and stayed with despite repeatedly breaking your heart?
I don't quite buy the mental illness defense for one reason. During the time before and during the affair she was able to work and function just fine every day. Sure she was guilty and conflicted and sad, but she pulled it off.
Cheating on their 20th. Such ugly stuff.
I believe she finally had a breakdown but that was self inflicted stress.
Then to do the obsessive eating thing after losing weight for the other guy seems hateful.
I just think Sven is your classic - super devoted Christian who got pushed past his breaking point too many times. And while I love the idea of forgiveness - there has been too much abuse here. I never support withholding sex - except this time I do. He needs to gradually pull away emotionally so he can do what he needs to to when the kids leave.
Originally Posted by dobo
Are you sure you are not punishing her for making herself attractive for the other guy and not you, by witholding sex? Personally, despite what she's done and how her weight has grown, I think you are wrong to withold sex from her. You elected to stay married. People don't get married to not have sex.