shyla

I have been married for 10 years now. We have a 3 years old daughter. My husband has not work for the last 5 years. I been supporting our family even before my daughter was born. I work my ass out even I am pregnant; work late night while my husband stayed at home doing nothing. When my daughter was born, he took care of her until I put her to school. Now she’s 3 and going to school everyday my husbands still no job. Whenever I make an issue of him not supporting us he blames me that the reason he is not working because he didn’t have a chance to look for a job because, I used his car to go to work and that he took care of our child. He’s now looking for a job but no luck; in the mean time I support us. We bought a house over a year a go with the help of his parents; even now they are the one paying for the mortgage and of course I pay all the bill. My husband claim that even he don’t have to work his contribution is his parents payment for the house, he claims he is giving me a place to live. By the way my husband is an alcoholic and he is verbally abusing me.

I have a very unhappy married life. There comes a time I thought of leaving my husband ask for divorce and raise my child alone, I never did. I am an immigrant, I have no family here and was raised with good value and very family oriented.

One day I seek solace on the internet, I met a guy and fall in love with him. He said he loves me and my child. He asked me to move in with him but I can’t. I left my home for a week and tried to live with him. This guy has so many lies that I discovered but I blindedly loving him. I went back home and still living with my husband. He didn’t know of my infidelity, he knows I left because of him. Truthfully I did and I am trying to amend it, but I don’t love him anymore, I love this other guy whom I can’t leave. We continued contacting each other and he’s hoping that I will leave my husband eventually and move in with him permanently. He wanted to marry me and have children together. It’s hard because I love this guy but something holding me back to have a life with him, I don’t love my husband but I can’t leave him – I don’t know maybe because he’s the only companion I know for the last 10 years.

I would like for our marriage to work for the sake of my daughter, maybe the spark will come back once we tried again. The hold back is this other guy, I tried to forget him but it’s hard, he’s like a drug that I can’t stop taking or a smoke that hard to quit. Whenever I don’t talk to him I feel like I am in mourning stage. Whenever I look at my husband and try to figure out my feeling for him this guy keep popping out. It’s just hard!