Talk About Marriage - View Single Post - Arguements about starting a family
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post #1 of (permalink) Old 11-22-2009, 10:13 AM Thread Starter
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Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 8
Arguements about starting a family

My husband and I have been married three years, and have been together for a total of six. I am at the point where I am ready to get pregnant within the next six months. We have both agreed that we want children, but every time I try to bring it up with him, he gives me silly answers, jokes about it, and then changes the subject.

I've also tried talking with him about our work situations after we have children. I really want to stay at home for at least the first couple of years. When I try to discuss this with him, he voices very adamantly that I will NOT be a stay at home mom, he does not want to be the only working parent, and he feels that he will have to work extra hard, and not get to see his kids much. (Money would be tight if I did not work, but it would be do-able.)

It hurts me that he refuses to see my point of view, or consider my feelings. I know myself well enough to know that working full time, and commuting to work while taking care of a baby at the same time will make me feel stressed and unhappy. He doesn't seem to understand or care how I feel. I am trying to see his point of view, but he will not see mine. I understand that he may not be ready for a baby yet, but it's not like I'm trying to get pregnant today, I just want to talk about it for the future to have an idea where we are at, and where it will lead us. I also don't nag him about it, I just wait and bring it up again maybe a few weeks later.

I don't know how to come to a compromise. I don't want him resenting me if I stay at home, and I know I will resent him if he forces me to work. I would just like to get this squared away BEFORE we decide to have a child.

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