dbj1971

Bhappy3,

Just wondering if your wedding vows included the line "forsaking all others." How old are you? Why did you even get married in the first place? There are plenty of selfish, noncommital single guys who would like to have a series of one-night stands, threesomes, orgies, you name it. You could have stayed single and "dated," getting a lot of action (not that I condone it but... making a point).

You seem confused. You say you love your husband but want to be intimate with another man. Also, the fact that you stated (more than once, at that) that we are just animals is disturbing. I guess in your way of thinking, if we're all just animals then we have no moral obligation to one another, so if it feels good, do it, and it's okay.

I don't see how, on God's earth, a woman can truly love her husband but want to give herself to another man, or vice versa. I think people just want the security blanket of a stable relationship while getting to live a wild, party life. Basically, wanting a threesome, whether it be the man that wants it or the woman, is just a way of saying, "Spouse, you're not enough for me, I need more, so we need to bring in help." It's the ultimate insult.

I think it's weird that a husband or wife would get off on seeing their husband or wife with another man. Just because both agree doesn't make it right. If you both agree to robbing a bank, that doesn't make it okay for the marriage just because there is mutual agreement. I know... the old humanistic argument... "But, robbing a bank is against the law." I know, I know. If tomorrow a law was passed making adultery illegal, would your desires magically disappear just because it was against the law?

It sounds like there are relationship issues anyway. I've never met a man not interested in sex, unless he had some major illness or there were such deep issues in the relationship that were unresolved that he found it hard to be attracted to his wife. Not to be stereotypical, but a man not interested in sex is so unusual that when it happens you should look for the reason why instead of accepting it as normal.

Animals are amoral, so if I'm an animal then I don't have to really answer to a higher power and my actions are good if they make me feel good. The law of the jungle applies, if I'm an animal.

We're not animals, but that doesn't mean people can't act like animals sometimes.

It takes far more effort and maturity to work out the problems in a marriage, to find out what's wrong and be willing to look in the mirror, so to speak, and change, than it is to get some illicit action on the side.

A real lover isn't someone who goes from person to person, having sex. Any dog or other animal can do that. A real lover is someone who can cultivate a relationship with a partner for life. True love does what's best for the other person, and places the other person's best interests at heart.