tryingtotrust

I'm so sorry to hear about your diagnosis. Hopefully, they caught it early enough so that you can receive the best treatment for it.

I read your post and seriously had to wonder if we are married to the same man. I can feel your frustration, and I completely understand. My husband expects me to suck it up if i'm hurting, but he sure as h%$% expects sympathy when he has the slightest thing wrong with him.

I used to ask him every morning how he slept and finally I stopped because I got sick of hearing "like sh&*&". He sleeps in until about 10am every morning. We have a family business that requires one of us to get up at 6am and one to stay up until midnight. There is no way he could get up at 6, and even if he tried, i'd have to get up with him to make sure he did stuff on time. The thing is, I stay up until about 11pm to help him with the nighttime routine because I feel guilty going to bed and leaving him to do the job himself. I realize that's my issue, not his, but it makes me feel like I care more about him than he does about me.

Another example, I started having some upper back problems last summer, which has progressively gotten worse. We just got health insurance but have a really high deductible so we decided that I wouldn't go until absolutely necessary. That's fine. What really grates on my nerves is that he doesn't EVER offer to take out the garbage, help with housework, yard work(I cut the grass) anything that requires physical work from him. He considers his work "researching on the internet". I am at a point where I have absolutely no respect for my husband and it upsets me very much. I have talked to him about it in a nice way, but he doesn't seem to care. That is what hurts the most. He treats complete strangers better than me sometimes. I could go on and on about things, and I know i'm not perfect, but I take care of our son, take care of our house, work for the family business 7 days a week, plus do all of the chores. And I try to be loving and considerate. What worries me most is that our son sees how he is and may think that's how a man is supposed to act. Another thing, I take medication for OCD/depression and if I start to talk with him about my feelings, he asks if I took my "happy pill". Really nice.

I'm sorry that your husband doesn't appreciate you or what you do for him and your children. I honestly don't have any advice for you because i'm in the same situation. If he agrees to counselling, that may help. I wouldn't dare even suggest it to my husband. I think he'd rather divorce first. I hope he can learn to be a man, suck it up and start appreciating you.

Good luck