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Old 11-23-2009, 07:57 PM   #1 (permalink)
sunflower
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Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 766
Default Its been a year from when I was told about the two of them.

Well I think because I found out about my husband and his little cheat with my old friend about this time last year I am a little down right now. I am on here posting on and off and I think that I go back and forth and bring it up and down in and out cause I just want to feel something good or bad. And I guess I need to speak to that one person that knows what I am going through or has been the person to do this and well to beleive that my husband is telling me the truth.

So Maybe I will say what he did again HOPING for just someone to chat with.
Me and my H were having problems in our marriage. Alot I remember speaking with my friend ALL the time about us and telling her that I couldnt do it anymore that I didnt know if I loved him on and on. Well of course bad idea to talk to her cause her and her H were having issues he cheated on her. So she Kissed my H one night when I had went home. A few months later he asked to kiss her they were here at my house and I was up in bed. He asked her if she had feelings and thats what the first kiss was about. She told him no that she loved her H and me. He said he did to but wasnt sure about us. She told him that the grass wasnt greener on the other side. And he still proceeded to get her to kiss him telling her that he thinks they should kiss to know. So they did. And he took her home after.

I guess he called her a few days later telling her sorry about what he did and it was wrong and that he loved me and knows what he wants blah blah blah. But the thing that bugs me to this DAY is that he says that he had NO feelings for her its so hard for me to grasp that. I know what happend was stupid and both times drinking. But its the whole I DONT HAVE FEELINGS thing I cant get over??? WHY? I mean I feel and I know I am stupid for saying this but how do I know he would have chosen me? I mean what if she said yes I do have feelings for you. would he have left me for her? and why the hell would he do that if he didnt have feelings for her??

I just feel so alone right now. I thought that I could get rid of that by talking with this guy but its just NOT the same I love my H to much I cant tell you how I feel and I dont like to be home everyday starring at this man and Not knowing what he is thinking?? what am I going to do?
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