Deejo

Virtually everyone has some degree of experience with similar circumstances.

Bad-boy/bad-girl syndrome is a reality. It gets more press, because let's face it, it's a hell of a lot more interesting to many people than hearing about well-balanced, loving partnerships. It's the difference between watching Nascar vs. morning commute traffic.

One is fast, exciting, loud, and has the potential for a wild, fiery crash. The other is predictable, steady, with an occasional fender bender.

Depending upon where you are at in your life - either model is fine. But, you don't commute in a race car, and you don't take a minivan onto the track at Daytona.

The nice vs. needy point is important, because it depends upon who is making the determination.
In BF's case, and my own, our spouses who had their own baggage - were concluding that we were needy based upon our behavior. From my perspective, I was trying to behave in a manner that would reduce strain on the relationship - but only increased it. In thinking that I would win affection and support, by showing affection and support - my plan backfired. So apparently, the interpretation of what is perceived as support, or as smothering, is left up to the recipient. And their judgment may not always be impartial.