Talk About Marriage - View Single Post - would it bother you if you're spouse hid extra money from you?

chasing_rainbows · 09-10-2012, 10:35 AM

here's the basic jist....

my husband does freelance work randomly, is requesting payment from the client

yesterday he went to the lowe's for an appliance, but made no mention of texting the client about also picking up his check (they live close to the lowe's),

this is in the context of him suddenly getting into paintball, spending lots of time craigslisting camo, paint guns, etc., some things paid with bartering, some with cash (that we don't have a lot of)

just the other day he said he wanted to make extra money to get "prepared" for November for "just in case" (that's a whole other story) so why has he kept the extra money to himself?

also, this is in addition to a history of lies about a number of minor to not-so-minor things, which has obviously destroyed my trust in him, which I've expressed many times and he agreed to MC "if that's what you think we need to do"

the latest item he's trying to purchase is a $400 bullet proof vest, which sounds like overkill for paintball, but I've never played

he setup a meeting for the vest, but didn't have the cash from bartering, so he told the seller an elaborate lie about the money going to help some friends who were in hurricane Isaac in LA and he'd have to wait til payday, also he's now been in contact with another seller of a vest via text and has deleted these texts from his phone

first, i see he's not limiting his lies to me

second, the amount of the check is no where near the $400 so I'm wondering if he's just going to keep the cash to himself even though we don't have a lot of money, his mom helps us by staying 3 days a week to p/u our kids from school while I'm in school at night, she doesn't have a lot of money and drives and hour each way to get to us, then 30 miles a day to/from school for the kids

i just transferred money to her account, but not at his request, i just wanted to give her what i could, i've also filled her tank while she's with us, she doesn't have to worry about meals while with us,

should i just call him on his bluff about MC and make an appointment, tell him "yes, that's what "I think we need to do, here's where you need to be at such and such time".."?

i was also thinking about just asking him "would you like an honest and trusting marriage?"... that's all, as a way to express that I don't think we have one, and I can't possibly ask anymore for that, I'm like a broken record, and it's becoming clear that I should have the same accountability to him that he feels he should have to me

09-10-2012, 10:35 AM	#1 (permalink)
chasing_rainbows Member Join Date: Apr 2012 Posts: 44	would it bother you if you're spouse hid extra money from you? here's the basic jist.... my husband does freelance work randomly, is requesting payment from the client yesterday he went to the lowe's for an appliance, but made no mention of texting the client about also picking up his check (they live close to the lowe's), this is in the context of him suddenly getting into paintball, spending lots of time craigslisting camo, paint guns, etc., some things paid with bartering, some with cash (that we don't have a lot of) just the other day he said he wanted to make extra money to get "prepared" for November for "just in case" (that's a whole other story) so why has he kept the extra money to himself? also, this is in addition to a history of lies about a number of minor to not-so-minor things, which has obviously destroyed my trust in him, which I've expressed many times and he agreed to MC "if that's what you think we need to do" the latest item he's trying to purchase is a $400 bullet proof vest, which sounds like overkill for paintball, but I've never played he setup a meeting for the vest, but didn't have the cash from bartering, so he told the seller an elaborate lie about the money going to help some friends who were in hurricane Isaac in LA and he'd have to wait til payday, also he's now been in contact with another seller of a vest via text and has deleted these texts from his phone first, i see he's not limiting his lies to me second, the amount of the check is no where near the $400 so I'm wondering if he's just going to keep the cash to himself even though we don't have a lot of money, his mom helps us by staying 3 days a week to p/u our kids from school while I'm in school at night, she doesn't have a lot of money and drives and hour each way to get to us, then 30 miles a day to/from school for the kids i just transferred money to her account, but not at his request, i just wanted to give her what i could, i've also filled her tank while she's with us, she doesn't have to worry about meals while with us, should i just call him on his bluff about MC and make an appointment, tell him "yes, that's what "I think we need to do, here's where you need to be at such and such time".."? i was also thinking about just asking him "would you like an honest and trusting marriage?"... that's all, as a way to express that I don't think we have one, and I can't possibly ask anymore for that, I'm like a broken record, and it's becoming clear that I should have the same accountability to him that he feels he should have to me