Originally Posted by EnjoliWoman

The lying in general is worrisome... but as long as you're making ends meet just some thoughts:

If he were putting away money for a nice vacation, holiday, anniversary gift of course that's acceptable but how would you know?

Have you guys struggled for so long that he is just tired of being poor and wants to have a little fun? (I think that's why the economy is turning around a little - people are just tired of not having any fun/nothing new.)

we've been this way the whole time, i felt guilty when i got interview clothes($150) because i need to get a better paying job, he won't pursue other jobs because he likes the perks at his current job(another story altogether)

The bullet-proof vest and reference to planning for 'November' is a bit worrisome... what is happening then? Is he depressed? Has a grudge? Is resentful? I guess some of the rampages in the news come to mind.

the search for one came along with the sudden bartering for paintball camo, guns, etc.

the November thing is that he thinks that things could be very different depending on the election results, i don't know about that one, it reminds me of when everyone was "worried" about Y2K

Bottom line, if it's just to treat himself because he never gets to or he wants to surprise the family with something over the holidays I wouldn't mind the lies about the cash (although that doesn't seem to be the case). But if it's to prepare to do something (move out?) or peruse a hobby and it's putting a strain on the family budget, that's not OK.

Originally Posted by Caribbean Man

To the Op,
I think the problem is bigger than him hiding money.
The lying for small things and hiding it is the greater issue.

i've asked him why the lies, especially about little stuff, and he can't answer, he doesn't know why

And what's up with that bullet proof vest?
Sounds like he's living in an alternate reality,
aka fantasy land.