AZMOMOFTWO

First of all, what did you win a cheating husband who is still in love with another woman? You cannot work on your marriage while he loves another even if he loves you too. You took off your wedding band so you know this too. You too have a right to be happy and to have someone who loves you and cherishes that relationship. Ask him to move out or move out yourself. Take the choice away from him and take control back.

I predict what will happen is he will "fall out of love" with the OW but prepared for this maybe not to happen. In other words move on.

I was faced with this too, while not admitting to the affair my H said he didn't know if he wanted to be married anymore so I said then move out and see if that's better. His response "I'm afraid to make the wrong choice". I told him by making no choice at all he will forfeit his right to choose. He did that, and I kicked him out. Actually I discovered the affair and that was that.

Its 15 months later and I brought it up and he said for a time he was infatuated simply because she was different but never in love and it was his own inability to deal with turning 40. He said he almost never thinks of her but if he does its with a lot of shame and anger at himself. So much for love huh?

We are rebuilding, and yes its possible to forgive but you can't forget. He must make a choice, but its not an ultimatim. This is you being unable to live in limbo forever and deserving better than that. To be the "winner" you will grow as a person and be confident in your decisions and be happy again whether with him, or another.