Talk About Marriage - View Single Post

wanting to heal · 11-25-2009, 12:47 PM

I've been a visitor on this site for the past month (to the day), and feel like putting my story out for advice.

Basic details - I'm 36, married for 14 yrs, with 3 children
My wife is 2 1/2 years younger than me. Great marraige, with only small bumps in the road.

On Oct. 25, she opened up to me that she had an affair with my best friend 11-12 years ago (doesn't remember exact dates). I still see this guy (we aren't as close now as we used to be, and I see why) twice a week. Once she told me, she was completely honest with me, and I asked ALL the questions I could think of over the next two days. We literally spent 3 straight nights not sleeping, and talking about this. I truly do feel that I know everything there is on this. Her reasoning for not telling me was that she was so humiliated/embarrased, she just hid it, and tried to not remember it, but was feeling so guilty lately that we have a great relationship, she couldn't hide it any longer. No one else knows other than the 3 of us.

I know it's quick, but I already am feeling better some, but I am having trouble sleeping at night, and I just continually do not "feel well".

As far as my relationship with my wife goes, we talk now more than ever, and are intimate still. I do completely trust her, and am not mad at her. I just can't get over this lack of sleep and not feeling well (which I know is related to the lack of sleep).

Any thoughts/advice would be appreciated. I will forwarn you, that I'm getting ready to go out of town, with little email/internet access, so I might not be back on to read replies for a few days. Thanks.

11-25-2009, 12:47 PM	#1 (permalink)
wanting to heal Registered User Join Date: Nov 2009 Posts: 3	How to heal I've been a visitor on this site for the past month (to the day), and feel like putting my story out for advice. Basic details - I'm 36, married for 14 yrs, with 3 children My wife is 2 1/2 years younger than me. Great marraige, with only small bumps in the road. On Oct. 25, she opened up to me that she had an affair with my best friend 11-12 years ago (doesn't remember exact dates). I still see this guy (we aren't as close now as we used to be, and I see why) twice a week. Once she told me, she was completely honest with me, and I asked ALL the questions I could think of over the next two days. We literally spent 3 straight nights not sleeping, and talking about this. I truly do feel that I know everything there is on this. Her reasoning for not telling me was that she was so humiliated/embarrased, she just hid it, and tried to not remember it, but was feeling so guilty lately that we have a great relationship, she couldn't hide it any longer. No one else knows other than the 3 of us. I know it's quick, but I already am feeling better some, but I am having trouble sleeping at night, and I just continually do not "feel well". As far as my relationship with my wife goes, we talk now more than ever, and are intimate still. I do completely trust her, and am not mad at her. I just can't get over this lack of sleep and not feeling well (which I know is related to the lack of sleep). Any thoughts/advice would be appreciated. I will forwarn you, that I'm getting ready to go out of town, with little email/internet access, so I might not be back on to read replies for a few days. Thanks.