Talk About Marriage - View Single Post

bhappy3 · 06-27-2008, 09:06 AM

Why does he have to be into it 110% when I don't have to be into his hunting and softball (which takes time and sex from me) at all %????? How fair is that?? So basically what I'm hearing is that it's ok for him to eat away at our marriage gradually, but it's not ok for me to fulfill my needs immediately???????

His hunting and softball are an obsessive lifestyle for him, but the family suffers as well. EVERYTHING revolves around those things. And the more I fight it and complain about it, the worse it gets. So that's acceptable?? My heart tells me not.

Thanks Justean... I'm not jealous about other women. He's not going anywhere. It would take time from his obsessions. The grass was greener on the other side when we had another woman in the picture. The sex between he and I was phenominal. I'm sure it would be the same for me with another man. But for some reason, when it comes to my satisfaction, he gets pissed off about it. Fair?

You see, for 12 years I was denied sex when I wanted it. It was always on his terms. I would approach him and he'd deny me, but then 20 minutes later he'd be ready and I was supposed to forget the pain of being denied and just do it. Well, the pain got to be too much for me. I finally hit a spot where I decided I'm not asking him for sex anymore. I would rather deal with the flames in my pants than the pain that he can inflict just by walking away from me. So this hurts pretty bad now too b/c I do not approach him for sex. He wonders how he's supposed to know that I want it. I can't answer that b/c I can't let him know b/c I'm afraid of denial again. I have slipped up a time or two and asked for it. The last time it happened, of course you can guess what he did... uh, not now, my dad is coming over soon. (it took his dad an hour to get here, he never just comes over in two minutes). So now what? A marriage isn't supposed to be like this!! I'm not supposed to be scared to approach him for sex!!! So now I've opened up a whole new jar of worms by not asking for sex... so many new dimensions I'm not familiar with. I guess basically I don't care anymore. I'm not actively pursuing anything with anyone else, but if something creeps up, I'm not going to stop it.

06-27-2008, 09:06 AM	#18 (permalink)
bhappy3 Member Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Pennsylvania Posts: 169	Re: You'll need an open mind for this one... Why does he have to be into it 110% when I don't have to be into his hunting and softball (which takes time and sex from me) at all %????? How fair is that?? So basically what I'm hearing is that it's ok for him to eat away at our marriage gradually, but it's not ok for me to fulfill my needs immediately??????? His hunting and softball are an obsessive lifestyle for him, but the family suffers as well. EVERYTHING revolves around those things. And the more I fight it and complain about it, the worse it gets. So that's acceptable?? My heart tells me not. Thanks Justean... I'm not jealous about other women. He's not going anywhere. It would take time from his obsessions. The grass was greener on the other side when we had another woman in the picture. The sex between he and I was phenominal. I'm sure it would be the same for me with another man. But for some reason, when it comes to my satisfaction, he gets pissed off about it. Fair? You see, for 12 years I was denied sex when I wanted it. It was always on his terms. I would approach him and he'd deny me, but then 20 minutes later he'd be ready and I was supposed to forget the pain of being denied and just do it. Well, the pain got to be too much for me. I finally hit a spot where I decided I'm not asking him for sex anymore. I would rather deal with the flames in my pants than the pain that he can inflict just by walking away from me. So this hurts pretty bad now too b/c I do not approach him for sex. He wonders how he's supposed to know that I want it. I can't answer that b/c I can't let him know b/c I'm afraid of denial again. I have slipped up a time or two and asked for it. The last time it happened, of course you can guess what he did... uh, not now, my dad is coming over soon. (it took his dad an hour to get here, he never just comes over in two minutes). So now what? A marriage isn't supposed to be like this!! I'm not supposed to be scared to approach him for sex!!! So now I've opened up a whole new jar of worms by not asking for sex... so many new dimensions I'm not familiar with. I guess basically I don't care anymore. I'm not actively pursuing anything with anyone else, but if something creeps up, I'm not going to stop it. __________________ :