artieb

Following up on what I wrote earlier, you noted that sometimes it may be personal and she doesn't want to tell you. But I only noticed that on a reread. Maybe she doesn't realize that you recognize such boundaries?

You should explicitly tell her: "If I ask you about your phone call with your mother, and it's something personal you don't want to tell me, that's okay. Just say 'it was between us', and that's fine. I'm not trying to be a cop, or a prosecutor; I'm just interested in you. You fascinate me. I don't want to never ask you about anything, or make you feel like I'm neglecting you or take you for granted. It's okay if you don't want to tell me about stuff with your family, or if something at work has you stressed out and you don't want to talk about it because that makes you think about it. I feel bad when I ignore you, and I feel bad when I make you angry, because being angry is so much work, and because it darkens our time together. You don't have to be angry; you can just say "it was personal", or "I don't want to think about work", and that's fine. I'm not going to shine a light bulb in your face until you confess, I'm just trying to welcome you home and reconnect."