Quote:
Originally Posted by MEM11363
I believe there are two types of depression: Those caused by the marriage and those that are independent and separate from the marriage.
What is it you recommended for each type?
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I can only speak from my personal experience, therefore I can't recommend anything, as I'm not a professional.
I can however suggest that in both cases you consult with a professional. Either a Doctor or a Licensed Therapist.
Depression can be very serious and it can require serious help, regardless of the cause or circumstances.
I understand from what I see on these forums that some spouses would like to believe that through their actions they can change their wives mental and emotional state. Or that they can coerce them to change through motivating factors, however that concerns me.
Sometimes we have to put our ego's aside and realize that we might not be the ones that are able to save someone, and that there are, at times genuine need for outside professional help. This help should be for the depressed spouse and/or the non depressed spouse separately, to help them as individuals, before the work on the marriage can be done.
My question in this was why do some spouses want to make themselves more "attractive" to a depressed spouse?
Is that more about getting their needs met? That is an understandable, but selfish priority. It could be the last thing the depressed spouse can deal with.