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Old 11-27-2009, 02:55 PM   #9 (permalink)
MEM11363
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Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 927
Default Re: how to deal with a depressed wife

Atholk,
In the chain of causality I will start one domino before you. Wife has a goal - civilize husband and achieve emotional dominance in a relationship where her mate is physically larger and stronger. This is survival 101 - it is hardwired behavior. Go back even 250 generations and unless you attained emotional dominance, when food got scarce the males didn't share equally and you starved to death. Emotional superiority wasn't a luxury it was life or death.

If wife is TOO successful, husband is fully domesticated, docile, boring and on some very deeply hardwired level he is now beta.

In a healthy marriage this doesn't happen.




Quote:
Originally Posted by Atholk View Post
It's pretty simple...

Husband does a bunch of things that doesn't excite or interest wife in him. Wife loses attraction for husband. Wife starts wondering why the heck she is doing everything she does for this man she isn't really into anymore. Divorce is a horrible option, but staying isn't good either. Wife gets depressed.

Husband wakes up to himself and realizes he's been destorying his wifes attraction to him. Changes his behavior and acts in ways to interest and excite wife. Wife is disbelieving at first, but then slowly regains interest in her husband. Wife just forgets thoughts about divorce. Wife is happy.


And yes there are many reasons people can become depressed, but if *this* is the reason she is depressed, no amount of therapy and medication will work for her.
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