Deejo

One of the steps that my spouse and I have taken in terms of finding a middle ground for our sexual issues is co-masturbation.

It relieves a degree of tension, or pressure, if there are ongoing issues. In my case, part of our issues stem from my wife finding intercourse painful. So, given that we can share that experience, we have used it as a bridge to recovering intimacy. Needless to say, the journey has had it's peaks and valleys. On the plus-side, our relationship is open enough that I don't need to feel embarrassed or ashamed, or tell my wife that I'm in the bathroom combing my hair. On the downside, I think any man would prefer his partner over his right hand.

*Edit: as for the 'when' question, I actually find that interesting. I was young - real young, and frankly don't have a sense for what age is common for males to start masturbating. I think I was maybe seven or eight. At that age there is no ejaculate - just the feel good. I remember the first time there was fluid along with the feeling, and I was absolutely terrified.

Oh, and the conditioner thing is absolutely true.