jessi

My husband and I have been married for 22 years, 2 grown sons.
He has been a good provider but not great on the emotional support side of things....he always says all the right things but his actions don't always match his words. I've let his lack of connection go a lot, you know busy raising kids, living life....a lot of things in the marriage were good. Well the kids are away at school now and I've had time to reflect what we really are to one another...and what kind of relationship I want from this union. I have decided that maybe it was time to say to him it wasn't enough for me and that I needed more that just a working relationship, all parts of our marriage suffered, communication, sex. He never really made any effort to listen and change and he says the same about me....I was the only one bringing up any kind of conversation about trying to fix things.....after a while he just viewed it as me *****ing about what I want....
He had pretty much cut me out in every part of our lives, he only talks about the kids the weather, work everything but us and our marriage, he has asked me to leave the bedroom and pretty much lives his life without me. I have asked him many times to reconsider his choices, he only blames me. I seem to be the only one hopeful although I don't know why I am...I'm a type of person that takes a marriage vow serious and always thinks that anything can be worked out with a little converstation and effort.

I know that in his mind he feels the marriage is over, but he has not left and continues to live in the house and has played a role with everyone else that our lives are normal....I'm not sure why it is that he can't seem to make his move.

A couple of days ago I had a man contact me and tell me his wife and my husband have been texting each other, 3000 over a 3 month period, I asked my husband about it, didn't know this was happening, he told me he was involved with this woman but not sexually, but he has kissed her...

This was devasating for me I believe that if you move on to someone else you should end the marriage first....which I thought he was doing....not something that I have wanted but trying to accept his decision.....now this......

I would appreciate any help trying to cope with this situation...I want him out, how long did the rest of you have to live through something like this? I guess I just need a shoulder to cry on and typing my story does help a little......thanks