Talk About Marriage - View Single Post

Sven · 11-28-2009, 06:52 AM

Robert, I am so sorry to hear this. You have a long road to cover.

First pointer is you must make it absolutely crystal clear that she must be open about her life and never lie to you. Even on the smallest detail.

Don't try too hard to fix the marriage. You need to hang back and let her try to fix the marriage. If you beg and plead and constantly try to convince her that everything will be okay, then she'll put up a wall. As much as it hurts...she needs to fight for you (not the other way around).

Seek professional marriage counseling. Both of you must go.

At this point, I wouldn't recommend a lawyer, but make it clear that if she cheats again it is OVER. No second chance. Ask her to point out what clothes she wants you to pack for her when you throw her out of the house.....

Finally, you need somebody you can talk with. This forum is fantastic, but we are not face to face nor always available. You need to carefully share your problem with a close friend or family member (or two). She might want the affair to remain a secret. Well too damn bad. You come first here. If she tries to blame you for driving her away - don't take it. Nothing justifies an affair.

Good luck!

11-28-2009, 06:52 AM	#2 (permalink)
Sven Member Join Date: Nov 2009 Posts: 303	Re: She is back Robert, I am so sorry to hear this. You have a long road to cover. First pointer is you must make it absolutely crystal clear that she must be open about her life and never lie to you. Even on the smallest detail. Don't try too hard to fix the marriage. You need to hang back and let her try to fix the marriage. If you beg and plead and constantly try to convince her that everything will be okay, then she'll put up a wall. As much as it hurts...she needs to fight for you (not the other way around). Seek professional marriage counseling. Both of you must go. At this point, I wouldn't recommend a lawyer, but make it clear that if she cheats again it is OVER. No second chance. Ask her to point out what clothes she wants you to pack for her when you throw her out of the house..... Finally, you need somebody you can talk with. This forum is fantastic, but we are not face to face nor always available. You need to carefully share your problem with a close friend or family member (or two). She might want the affair to remain a secret. Well too damn bad. You come first here. If she tries to blame you for driving her away - don't take it. Nothing justifies an affair. Good luck!