Thanks for the clarification. You sound like a great wife. He is likely suffering from the grass is greener madness.
You are completely within your rights to share this info with her husband. The sheer amount of time screams EA headed toward PA.
I do think a blunt conversation with him is in order. Something of this flavor:
You are perilously close to crossing a line which their is no retreat from. I may tolerate certain things temporarily for the children, but if you do them, once they are gone I am gone. And I want to make sure we understand each other. This isn't a case of you making a mistake. This seems to be a case of you making a choice over an extended period of time. And that choice is essentially to end your marriage. Whether it dies a slow death or a fast death - it will die. Is that really what you want?
When I ask you if things are ok - you tell me they are fine. I don't want a marriage that is fine. I want a marriage that is great, and passionate and loving. If you think we need to change things for that to be how it is for you then talk to me and I will try to help make this marriage the one you want to be in. I cannot help you / us / our marriage if you are emotionally focused on someone else and if you choose not to talk to me about what you really want.
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Originally Posted by sadandhurt
Well, I do think it is a vicious cycle. We work different hours. But...honestly, I am a very vocal individual and ask and confront his feelings about our marriage. His response always is that our marriage is fine. I respond to tell him that I want it to be a closer relationship and have more time together. I also requested that the calls end.
The reason that I am busy is that when he is working, I am the taxi cab, the chaperone, the chef, etc., for our teenagers. When we are both available, I am the one that makes the effort to spend time together. It is when he is working or should be sleeping that he is chatting on the phone with his college friend.
Our sex life is good too! I guess this is why I am so baffled. He truly has everything he needs--why is he searching for more. Also, do you think that this girl's husband should be made aware of all the phone calls. Remember there are over 100 text messages per month and over 1,200 minutes of telephone conversation. Should the husband know?
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