justean

reading your email, he really shows you nothing.
when i have those times.
i think you have to detach yourself in your head.
if you have no expectation of what you want, then obviously you dont expect n e thing to happen.
can you separate your mind from your body.
i dont think or should i say i think its sad when couples are not close , dont show n e intimacy.
but you do sound very alone.
i know what your saying about sex, its not all about that.
but you still need the drive from your partner that you know your still wanted. i,e through intimacy and touch.

you have definately had a big operation. hysterectomy and anterior and posterior repair.
unfortunately he does not seem or want to consider what you have gone through or your needs.
with relations to your downstair departments, you need time when adjusting for sex and lubrication. have you tried a ky jelly.
but then if he makes you feel you do, laughing at you , is a put down, especially when you have worked so hard to try.
i dont want a marriage like that either.
could you ask him to leave for a while. with you being serious.
if he ok with the kids , can you go out for a night with a mate.
if he takes the children out , say that you would like to go with them.
i think it just depends what you want to fight for.
a loveless marriage is a difficult one.
i did that with first hubby, thought i loved him, but i did not.its because i married for the wrong reasons. but if you do separate from a loveless marriage, you will actually find you will get over it easier than in a loved marriage.
what i found was and maybe not for you at this moment, but you might be doing something innocent e.g like cleaning and all of a sudden a smile will come over you, you will one day find an inner peace.
this will come when your ready to let go and by that point you wont worry about the sex, or intimacy from someone that simply wont change. because by then you would have changed.
its you that has to move on and there is someone who would love you for who you were and respect you. and be gentle with you