first year

First of all I think it is great that you understand what you did in the past was wrong to her. You are taking responsibility for what you did, and how it affected your wife. You need to tell her this and let her know how sorry you are that you did that. Women do not forget these type of things. Second, do not stress about your wife talking to her ex. If this has been going on years then chances are they are just friends, if she was having any type of affair with this man she would have walked out on you when you were flirting with these other women because hey she would have already had someone else waiting for her. Explain to her that you have been asking her to stop talking to her ex because of your insecurities. Tell her that you want to trust her completly, and want the same from her. If your marriage is truly at the point where she is no longer sure that she loves you then you need to drop this business about her talking to her ex. Think about it from her prespective shes feeling this way and then your pressuring her to stop talking to one of her friends, this will only push her away further. Let her talk to this guy who cares he is the ex for a reason and you are her present for a reason. Instead focus your energy on rebuilding the romance between the two of you. Good luck