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827Aug · 06-29-2008, 08:03 AM

Hi cao428!

I wish I could offer some advice, but I've got the same problem as you. Our counselor has taken a different route. He says only ask my husband something once and accept his explanation. He says over time, my husband will start to open up. Well, that isn't working either. You can see how successfull that has been, if you read my post under "I'm Losing Patience".

Your therapist advocates a stronger and more direct approach. I'm not sure that will work either. If he moves out because of his secrets, it will actually be benefiting him. My husband moved out several months ago. My lawyer says he moved out to have greater freedom. This is how he can cheat and not have to hide it and lie. This is one place where I feel the divorce lawyer is ahead of the counselor.

Hang in there! I feel your pain. I, too, have been in a long-term marriage. I don't want to walk away either. However, I don't know how much more of the torture and cruelty I can take. Each time a piece of "evidence" hits me in the face, I end up crying the whole day. The rejection just gets to be too much.

06-29-2008, 08:03 AM	#7 (permalink)
827Aug Member Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Southern USA Posts: 258	Re: What to do when they won't come clean? Hi cao428! I wish I could offer some advice, but I've got the same problem as you. Our counselor has taken a different route. He says only ask my husband something once and accept his explanation. He says over time, my husband will start to open up. Well, that isn't working either. You can see how successfull that has been, if you read my post under "I'm Losing Patience". Your therapist advocates a stronger and more direct approach. I'm not sure that will work either. If he moves out because of his secrets, it will actually be benefiting him. My husband moved out several months ago. My lawyer says he moved out to have greater freedom. This is how he can cheat and not have to hide it and lie. This is one place where I feel the divorce lawyer is ahead of the counselor. Hang in there! I feel your pain. I, too, have been in a long-term marriage. I don't want to walk away either. However, I don't know how much more of the torture and cruelty I can take. Each time a piece of "evidence" hits me in the face, I end up crying the whole day. The rejection just gets to be too much.