MEM11363

This type of situation tends to make a man be more serious. The lack of sex alone kills a certain amount of playful behavior.

Have you tried the two magic levers to desire:
- Being more attractive AND
- Less available

The more attractive is some mix of physical stuff: fitness/clothing/grooming combined with some mix of interpersonal stuff - make the effort to me more optimistic/playful - kind.

The less available is about spending more time on stuff other then her. It doesn't mean sitting next to her in the house while you surf the internet for hours - go out and do stuff that is good for you. It also means creating more emotional space. If she says I love you once a day and you say it twice a day - you are crowding her in a subtle but very destructive fashion. In an insecure relationship "i love you" takes on a whole different meaning - it becomes a hybrid statement/question: I love you, do you love me back?

For a woman who isn't sure how she feels that question makes her anxious/pressured turned OFF sexually.

So observe her - see how much love she is transmitting at you via the 5/6 standard love languages and reduce your love to her to a somewhat lower level. The trick is - keep the sincerity - when you do it - do it right. But cut WAY back on the quantity. And let her go first - let her say I love you - and sometimes you can just say - see you later.

Step back in a calm, low key and non threatening manner and she may step forward. And when she does - do NOT over react. If you create space properly her hard wired behavioral response will be to use sex to pull you closer.

So if you step back - and when she steps forward verbally - you immediately give her all the love she wants - she will NEVER sleep with you again. Because she will see you as easy/borderline needy/desperate.