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cao428 · 06-29-2008, 01:09 PM

Hi 827Aug!

It sounds like your counselor isn't giving you the right advice. Of course even though I think mine did, I didn't do what she said. Mine was actually Dr. Ellen Kreidman. I did a phone session with her for $75 for 1/2 hour. She is very direct and strong and has been on tv. But you CAN get a one time free email counsel with her if that helps.
Marriage Counseling - Marriage Problems Solved Without Marriage Counseling

She told me that only when I told him he was done and I was going for a divorce and threw him out would he possibly turn around. She said if he didn't well then maybe I didn't want him anyway.

Instead, I told him that I still believed something happened over in China last year, but I was willing to let it go if he promised to be a better husband to me and I in turn would be a better wife to him, and we could start fresh. I bought the tapes Light his fire on Amazon for $20 (cassettes) used, and Light her fire for him for the same instead of th CDs off of Dr. Ellen's website for $109 each. He agreed to the deal and said he's listen to the tapes. He was definitely nicer to me and we started to get intimate again, took a dance lesson together, and then he left on another 30-day job on the west coast (not in China)

On the way to the airport he told me another lie about the VISA card he sent to China (I believe I already wrote about that) and then I discovered the $3000 cash he had in an envelope was gone from his gun safe. My daughter and I are planning a trip out to see him in July and last night he called me to discuss the money and how much it is going to cost. His company is paying for the room while he is working, but then he gets dne mid-week while we are there and the room is expensive ($200 night). Money is tight for us and so I don't really have any money. I had thought maybe he took the cash with him to spend on our vacation. And so I asked him if he had any cash and he replied "Just a few 100 dollars" I said, "you don't have any cash left over from your China trip?" and he responded "Nope". And so the lies keep coming. For all I know he could have sent money over to her or paid for her to fly over and stay with him before I come for a few weeks!

So he continues to lie to me. Now I am just trying to think of what to do. Now I don't believe anything he says, and I think he was just nicer to me to appease me. Now I question whether he is still carrying on the affair. Maybe I'll change my flight and show up early to surprise him..I need to catch him.

I am glad you found your evidence. At least now you know the truth for sure. I am still wondering but I am also wondering how I can live with a man whom is so deceiptful. I deserve so much more than this, and you do too.

Let us know how you make out at the counselor and I will keep you updated.

06-29-2008, 01:09 PM	#8 (permalink)
cao428 Member Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: North East USA Posts: 141	Re: What to do when they won't come clean? Hi 827Aug! It sounds like your counselor isn't giving you the right advice. Of course even though I think mine did, I didn't do what she said. Mine was actually Dr. Ellen Kreidman. I did a phone session with her for $75 for 1/2 hour. She is very direct and strong and has been on tv. But you CAN get a one time free email counsel with her if that helps. Marriage Counseling - Marriage Problems Solved Without Marriage Counseling She told me that only when I told him he was done and I was going for a divorce and threw him out would he possibly turn around. She said if he didn't well then maybe I didn't want him anyway. Instead, I told him that I still believed something happened over in China last year, but I was willing to let it go if he promised to be a better husband to me and I in turn would be a better wife to him, and we could start fresh. I bought the tapes Light his fire on Amazon for $20 (cassettes) used, and Light her fire for him for the same instead of th CDs off of Dr. Ellen's website for $109 each. He agreed to the deal and said he's listen to the tapes. He was definitely nicer to me and we started to get intimate again, took a dance lesson together, and then he left on another 30-day job on the west coast (not in China) On the way to the airport he told me another lie about the VISA card he sent to China (I believe I already wrote about that) and then I discovered the $3000 cash he had in an envelope was gone from his gun safe. My daughter and I are planning a trip out to see him in July and last night he called me to discuss the money and how much it is going to cost. His company is paying for the room while he is working, but then he gets dne mid-week while we are there and the room is expensive ($200 night). Money is tight for us and so I don't really have any money. I had thought maybe he took the cash with him to spend on our vacation. And so I asked him if he had any cash and he replied "Just a few 100 dollars" I said, "you don't have any cash left over from your China trip?" and he responded "Nope". And so the lies keep coming. For all I know he could have sent money over to her or paid for her to fly over and stay with him before I come for a few weeks! So he continues to lie to me. Now I am just trying to think of what to do. Now I don't believe anything he says, and I think he was just nicer to me to appease me. Now I question whether he is still carrying on the affair. Maybe I'll change my flight and show up early to surprise him..I need to catch him. I am glad you found your evidence. At least now you know the truth for sure. I am still wondering but I am also wondering how I can live with a man whom is so deceiptful. I deserve so much more than this, and you do too. Let us know how you make out at the counselor and I will keep you updated.