Talk About Marriage - View Single Post

827Aug · 06-29-2008, 03:43 PM

I'm really not sure there is a correct approach handling our situation. We may have to try different things. From the posts I'm seeing on this forum, I think we may be in the minority--where our spouses continue to deny and lie (and never come clean). At least I now have concrete proof on my spouse (and he still denies it). I hope you find the proof you need to put your mind at ease.

A friend made an interesting comment today and I think I'll share it. She said the fact that my husband goes to great lengths to hide his affairs tells her something. She says he still loves me. She feels that he would be more open if he didn't love me. I'm just thinking he is a selfish coward!

My brothers have a different take on this and tell me I should have ended the marriage when all of this started. They are annoyed at me for putting up with all of this crap for so long. That being said, I'm probably going to file for divorce. I am going to give him one last chance though. I'm giving him a nice written request. The topic from our last marriage counseling sessions will be the request--"What I Want From You".
1) A serious commitment to SAVE our marriage

2) Honesty
a) stop ALL contact with your girlfriends
b) give me access to all of your private accounts--
bank, credit cards, brokerage, e-mail,etc.
c) provide a copy of your current credit report
d) move out of your apartment since it gives you way
too much freedom.

I'm 90 percent sure he will reject that request, so I know what I've got to do then.

06-29-2008, 03:43 PM	#9 (permalink)
827Aug Member Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Southern USA Posts: 258	Re: What to do when they won't come clean? I'm really not sure there is a correct approach handling our situation. We may have to try different things. From the posts I'm seeing on this forum, I think we may be in the minority--where our spouses continue to deny and lie (and never come clean). At least I now have concrete proof on my spouse (and he still denies it). I hope you find the proof you need to put your mind at ease. A friend made an interesting comment today and I think I'll share it. She said the fact that my husband goes to great lengths to hide his affairs tells her something. She says he still loves me. She feels that he would be more open if he didn't love me. I'm just thinking he is a selfish coward! My brothers have a different take on this and tell me I should have ended the marriage when all of this started. They are annoyed at me for putting up with all of this crap for so long. That being said, I'm probably going to file for divorce. I am going to give him one last chance though. I'm giving him a nice written request. The topic from our last marriage counseling sessions will be the request--"What I Want From You". 1) A serious commitment to SAVE our marriage 2) Honesty a) stop ALL contact with your girlfriends b) give me access to all of your private accounts-- bank, credit cards, brokerage, e-mail,etc. c) provide a copy of your current credit report d) move out of your apartment since it gives you way too much freedom. I'm 90 percent sure he will reject that request, so I know what I've got to do then.