Little_foot_82

i not sure where to start this is going to be a long post I really appreciate any one who can read the whole thing.

So here I go. I am 35 weeks pregnant from my husband of 7 years September will be 8. We've been together for 9. I found out yesterday morning he has been cheating on me with an X. I know we have had issues for a long time I know I should have done something sooner. Now I just feel F***ed. He says he loves her and isn't sure if he loves me any more (or if he ever did). He isn't ready to stop talking to her he said he wont see her but he wants to continue to talk to her until our son is born. I feel like the bad guy asking him not to see or talk to her ever again. He said he is willing to go to counseling and I want to but I feel if he doesn't love me what is the point no amount of counseling will change that. He mainly is willing to go for our unborn son. I feel if I just let him go I will always wonder if we could have worked it out.

The thting that is hardest for me is if he felt this way he should of told me before I got pregnant. It's not like t was a surprise we had to get infertility treatments. So now my unborn son is having to deal with my emotions now and maybe not having a mom & dad together.

I care about him so much I want him to be happy and part of me is willing to let him go if that will make him happy. I have cut myself of from friends since I got married so I have no one to turn to.

I wonder if I just let him go explore his feelings with her he may come back but I just don't know. I read a bunch of the e-mails they sent. Sad thing is alot of what he said sounds just like some of the first letters he wrote to me. She has tons of emotional baggage & 2 small boys.

Part of me wonders if it's just the newness & excitement of it all. I guess that's what I hope it is and it would just die out.

It is so hard for me to sit & write this as I feel my unborn child move knowing his father the man I love desperately may not love me.

I don't know what else to say so there it is. Any advise is appreciated.