Clarification: I love my wife. I do not enjoy the full spectrum emotional relationship the same way she does. I would prefer full time love/kindness. I have simply learned that she is not nearly as happy when there is no edge.
And this is not about being a jerk. Jerks initiate hostilities or conflict. My wife does NOT - LOL - like that. She simply likes it when I show a certain amount of "we are doing this my way - because it will be fun" leadership and that I am aggressive when she or the kids or third parties behave inappropriately.
I believe this is hard wired behavior. She is overall delightful and fun and smart and mostly very rational I would simply describe her as a handful.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Commited1
MEM11363 speaks the truth here. I had/have problems very similar to yours. The key to their resolution/management was simply standing up for myself and drawing a line of how much crap I would take and not back from that line. In fact, the line has moved forward inch by inch and she is now the one giving ground.
I am no sexist and far from a misogynist, but honestly, it seems many women want their way and also for you to be the alpha male. Ask them which they want and they will say their way. But their actions definitely tend to answer 'alpha male'. That doesn't mean to be a total jerk. But when the alpha male part is lacking, women (in my experience) tend to lose a feeling of security they depend on you for and so start fantasizing about independence sometimes to the point where they think they can take the male role on themselves and ditch you altogether.
But it doesn't work like that. Separate as a couple and soon enough she will be seeking the same things from another male. Better to just man up and define some very clear boundaries.
|