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cao428 · 06-30-2008, 07:12 PM

Hi Lostand Alone,

You are NOT ALONE..I am having a bad day too. There are always things that we could have done better, but you are only human and it is not your fault that she is having the EA..nor mine that my husband did or is. Their choice to go outside of the nest. Do not blame yourself. You are doing every thing you can to save the marriage..I feel for you because I know how you feel..

I keep thinking about what I am going to say to him next time I see him...because he broke the agreement to start fresh and be a better husband by telling more lies. A good husband doesn't lie. He also changed the address his bank statements are sent to so I couldn't see them.

I like 827Aug's idea of making an "ultimatum list" of things they need to do. The therapist I called on the phone said to tell him "I am not the one that had the affair, you did, you made the choice"

No matter what it still hurts. I think when my husband was all emotional the day I walked out the door and called me he was hurting because he was thinking he would have to end it with her. He wasn't that lovey dovey with me when I came home..

Are you going to counseling still?

06-30-2008, 07:12 PM	#14 (permalink)
cao428 Member Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: North East USA Posts: 141	Re: What to do when they won't come clean? Hi Lostand Alone, You are NOT ALONE..I am having a bad day too. There are always things that we could have done better, but you are only human and it is not your fault that she is having the EA..nor mine that my husband did or is. Their choice to go outside of the nest. Do not blame yourself. You are doing every thing you can to save the marriage..I feel for you because I know how you feel.. I keep thinking about what I am going to say to him next time I see him...because he broke the agreement to start fresh and be a better husband by telling more lies. A good husband doesn't lie. He also changed the address his bank statements are sent to so I couldn't see them. I like 827Aug's idea of making an "ultimatum list" of things they need to do. The therapist I called on the phone said to tell him "I am not the one that had the affair, you did, you made the choice" No matter what it still hurts. I think when my husband was all emotional the day I walked out the door and called me he was hurting because he was thinking he would have to end it with her. He wasn't that lovey dovey with me when I came home.. Are you going to counseling still? Last edited by cao428; 06-30-2008 at 07:13 PM. Reason: mistake