Quote:
Originally Posted by jsniceguy
Any advice on prepping the scenario to get more than 50% placement of children? If indeed she is soooo overwhelmed by our life and kids why would she deserve them 50% of the time?
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The children are all a red herring. She's not actually overwhelmed with everything. It's all a BS line. The more you try and gain traction on the children's custody, the more you are playing into the concept that she is overwhelmed by everything. Like I said earlier, the line is designed to end up with you being a full time solo parent, while she gets to leave everything in your hands and free to go have sex with another man.
You need to completely reframe the conversation. "If you think life is hard now, just wait until the divorce, because frankly your responisblities to the children will NOT change, the only thing that changes will be everything splitting up and becoming more complicated to manage and handle. It's 50/50 NOW. After the divorce it's going to be 50/50 of something much harder to manage. Plus if we divorce I will NOT be friendly to you, it will be over between us, meaning I will NOT be doing anything extra for you, what I'll be doing for the "family" will be for the children and not a damn thing for you. You will be on your own, life will be harder for you, and I will no longer care."
The real issue is she's probably a bit bored, most likely by you. Hence the advice by others about adding some alpha male goodness to the mix. It sounds like you're doing a little too much on the beta front ("How do I get more of the kids?") The problem of you being too beta isn't going to be solved with
cranking up the beta.
You have to balance both alpha and beta traits in a long term marriage. Too alpha and you're a bad provider, unhelpful, self-involved prick. Too beta and you're unexciting, sexless, safe and boring. Got to mix it up on them and keep them on their toes a little bit.
If you're not in good physical shape, work on improving that asap. It's always a good thing to be in shape, but in terms of it's timing around a potential break up, it's a fairly strong signal that you are prepping yourself to attract a new mate if you need to. It's a very strong empowering move to make. You don't have to date other women/cheat on her, it's just an implication that if pushed in that direction, you could more easily replace her than perhaps she could replace you. The ability to attract women in general is an alpha male trait anyway. Advantage you.