swedish

In my case, my husband and I both put our marriage on the top of the priority list and have kept it there. This involves mainly just making sure on a daily basis that we show each other that they are loved and appreciated and can speak openly without fear of attack or hurting one another (I'm a sensitive soul but have told him I'd rather know when something bothers him even if the truth hurts) and know the other is there if one is having a bad day. We also spend a lot more time doing things together (whether it's just us or with the kids)

Communication (lack thereof) was the major issue which led to other bigger issues, but turning that around for us has been changing how we communicate today. When our marriage got to the breaking point, we did work through how we got there and why but at this point I don't think there is any positive benefit to rehashing the details of the past. We both get it and it's painful to keep going back there.

We were in a cycle of him being frustrated living with my 3 kids (from a previous marriage) and me thinking it's a matter of time before he bails (he hinted at this when things would get rough), me being unhappy/depressed as a result and pulling away from him, him being frustrated and thinking I didn't love/care about him and our marriage was going into the ditch in the meantime.

Once we talked through all of this I know he's in it for the long haul and the woman he first met is back, happy and laughing again. He's happy and laughing again. We both know why and are committed to keeping it this way.

So yes, communication is important, but I would say in the present. Once old wounds have been healed, leave them in the past.