blind

I don't suppose I have an answer to the riddle of how long one should work at trying to repair a broken marriage because of poor communication. There are no hard and fast rules in this in my opinion. I just wanted to chime in and let you know that I absolutely understand the frustration and the catch-22 you mentioned. I made many mistakes in the past (I was never unfaithful). My story is on this forum if you are interested. One of our primary problems was certainly communication. I've made many significant changes toward being a better husband, father, and person. But, my wife continues to withdraw from me. I am still committed to seeing this through, but I suppose at some point my motivation will wane unless I begin to see some improvement. This all started for me in Nov. 2007. My changes really started taking shape in Jan/Feb 2008. My wife has been consistently withdrawn from me and the marriage most all of this time. In fact any affection or intimacy from her ceased in total back in Jan. 2007. So, I can say I've really been at this for over 5 months without noticeable improvement. Again, I'm still committed to saving my marriage, but one must wonder how long this can possibly go on. All I can say is that if my wife slowly returns to the marriage and we can be happy again it will be worth it (even if it takes many more months or even a few years). If you can find any improvement in your situation it will go a long way in further motivating you. There have been times when I thought I saw improvements and it did wonders for my patience and stamina in all of this. Best wishes and sorry for kind of making this post about "me".